A MERRY HEART CAUSES GOOD HEALING. Proverbs, 17:22
It is my prayer to at least make you smile. If a laugh, hoot, or raucous snort escapes from you, I will have exceeded my goal! Enjoy!
Dad tweets out interactions with his 4 daughters
6 yr - fast forwards through movie to ending
Dad - You can’t just skip to the happy ending!
6 yr - I don’t have time for problems.
3 yr - Can we have birthday cake?
Dad - it’s not your birthday.
3 yr - The cake won’t know.
Dad - Can you come over here, princess?
5 yr - Dad! I’m too old to be a princess.
Dad - What should I call you, then?
5 yr - The queen
4 yr - Can I have candy?
Dad - What did mom say?
4 yr - No.
Dad - So why would I let you?
4 yr - She’s not the boss of you.
It’s a trap.
3 yr - You got lots of letters from your friends.
Dad - They’re bills. They want money.
3 yr - You need better friends.
My 6 yr old wants to be a doctor so she can help sick kids
My 4 yr old wants to be a porcupine so she can stab people with her butt
Dad Someday you will have feelings for boys.
6 yr - I already have feelings for them.
Dad - Really?
6 yr - They make me mad.
My 3 yr old called her eyebrows “eye mustaches”.
I was going to correct her vocabulary, but instead, I upgraded mine.
4 yr - Can I use your office chair?
Dad - I’m using it.
4 yr - You’re not spinning
Dad - I don’t want to spin.
4 yr - You’re using it wrong.
Toddler spills entire bowl of popcorn and eats it off the floor
5 yr - Stop it!
Dad - Let her go. I don’t want to vacuum.
Dad - You forgot to brush your teeth. They’re going to fall out.
5 yr - that’s the point.
The tooth fairy story backfired.
Dad - Who made this mess?
3 yr - A dinosaur.
Dad - I don’t see a dinosaur here.
3 yr - Not anymore. He went extinct
5 yr - Why does mom wear make up?
Dad - To look pretty.
5 yr - But she’s already pretty.
Dad - Aww.
5 yr - Dad, you should wear make up.
3 yr - A boy at daycare said he likes me.
Dad - Do you like him back?
3 yr - He colors outside the lines. He needs to grow up.
5 yr - Can we buy that?
Dad - It’s too expensive.
5 yr - Use your credit card. Then it’s free.
Guess who’s never getting her own credit card?
Dad - What did you learn in school today?
5 yr - Learned about dragons.
Dad - Your class learned about dragons?
5 yr - I learned about dragons. I don’t know what everybody else was doing.
Dad - Did you have a good day at school?
6 yr - That’s not how school works.
Dad - What do you want to be when you grow up?
5 yr - A cat doctor.
Dad - A veterinarian?
5 yr - A doctor who is a cat.
Dad - Put away your toy phone.
6 yr - I can’t. This is my job.
Dad - Are you making fun of me?
6 yr - Hold on. I have to tweet that.
5 yr finally comes upstairs
Dad - I told you to come up five minutes ago.
5 yr - Traffic.
Dad - Do you know what sarcasm is?
7 yr - No. I live under a rock.
My 5 yr called parmesan cheese “spaghetti sprinkles” and now
that’s officially a food group in my house.
In case you were thinking about having kids, my 3 yr old
complained that the water in her cup was too wet.
My 3 yr old called a giraffe a tree horse and now I have to update Wikipedia.
5 yr - I closed my eyes last night and now it's morning.
Dad - That happens.
5 yr - I think I can time travel.
6 yr - fast forwards through movie to ending
Dad - You can’t just skip to the happy ending!
6 yr - I don’t have time for problems.
3 yr - Can we have birthday cake?
Dad - it’s not your birthday.
3 yr - The cake won’t know.
Dad - Can you come over here, princess?
5 yr - Dad! I’m too old to be a princess.
Dad - What should I call you, then?
5 yr - The queen
4 yr - Can I have candy?
Dad - What did mom say?
4 yr - No.
Dad - So why would I let you?
4 yr - She’s not the boss of you.
It’s a trap.
3 yr - You got lots of letters from your friends.
Dad - They’re bills. They want money.
3 yr - You need better friends.
My 6 yr old wants to be a doctor so she can help sick kids
My 4 yr old wants to be a porcupine so she can stab people with her butt
Dad Someday you will have feelings for boys.
6 yr - I already have feelings for them.
Dad - Really?
6 yr - They make me mad.
My 3 yr old called her eyebrows “eye mustaches”.
I was going to correct her vocabulary, but instead, I upgraded mine.
4 yr - Can I use your office chair?
Dad - I’m using it.
4 yr - You’re not spinning
Dad - I don’t want to spin.
4 yr - You’re using it wrong.
Toddler spills entire bowl of popcorn and eats it off the floor
5 yr - Stop it!
Dad - Let her go. I don’t want to vacuum.
Dad - You forgot to brush your teeth. They’re going to fall out.
5 yr - that’s the point.
The tooth fairy story backfired.
Dad - Who made this mess?
3 yr - A dinosaur.
Dad - I don’t see a dinosaur here.
3 yr - Not anymore. He went extinct
5 yr - Why does mom wear make up?
Dad - To look pretty.
5 yr - But she’s already pretty.
Dad - Aww.
5 yr - Dad, you should wear make up.
3 yr - A boy at daycare said he likes me.
Dad - Do you like him back?
3 yr - He colors outside the lines. He needs to grow up.
5 yr - Can we buy that?
Dad - It’s too expensive.
5 yr - Use your credit card. Then it’s free.
Guess who’s never getting her own credit card?
Dad - What did you learn in school today?
5 yr - Learned about dragons.
Dad - Your class learned about dragons?
5 yr - I learned about dragons. I don’t know what everybody else was doing.
Dad - Did you have a good day at school?
6 yr - That’s not how school works.
Dad - What do you want to be when you grow up?
5 yr - A cat doctor.
Dad - A veterinarian?
5 yr - A doctor who is a cat.
Dad - Put away your toy phone.
6 yr - I can’t. This is my job.
Dad - Are you making fun of me?
6 yr - Hold on. I have to tweet that.
5 yr finally comes upstairs
Dad - I told you to come up five minutes ago.
5 yr - Traffic.
Dad - Do you know what sarcasm is?
7 yr - No. I live under a rock.
My 5 yr called parmesan cheese “spaghetti sprinkles” and now
that’s officially a food group in my house.
In case you were thinking about having kids, my 3 yr old
complained that the water in her cup was too wet.
My 3 yr old called a giraffe a tree horse and now I have to update Wikipedia.
5 yr - I closed my eyes last night and now it's morning.
Dad - That happens.
5 yr - I think I can time travel.