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The Bridge or the River

5/17/2014

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Picture
A while back, the under shepherd of our little congregation used this picture to emphasize a point he was making. I have been thinking about it ever since. Look at it carefully. It is a picture of a bridge and river. It is real and has not been photoshopped. 

 In 1998 Hurricane Mitch ravaged Central America. 5,600 people died in the storm and more than 12,300 were injured. Over 150 bridges in Honduras were destroyed but the Choluteca Bridge was engineered and constructed so well it survived intact. The Japanese company that built the Choluteca Bridge was so proud of their workmanship they put a photo of the bridge on their company brochure. The storm was so severe it actually shifted the river, which now flows around the bridge instead of under it. It is a very sturdy bridge to nowhere, without any useful function. A ton of applications could be made, but I will go the way I am led. 

 For years, I have studied to determine my purpose and function as a woman of YHVH according to Scripture. It is not meant to be disrespectful, although to some it seems that way. I am not trying to be a feminist, although I am often labeled so. It is not my intent to argue or convince anyone. I just want to know the truth. Am I, as a woman of Yah, bound to interpretation of Scripture that cannot sustain itself? Is the call on my life any less important than that of a man? And yet . . . I have often been confined to certain spheres of influence. I don’t mind these at all, but to say that because I am a woman I cannot exercise my influence beyond a specific point is unscriptural, unsupported from Jewish history, and doesn’t fit with Yeshua’s ministry. Contradictions within the very passages used to support this doctrine abound and must be reconciled for YHVH is not the author of confusion.

All ancient literature is read with an understanding of its original context, language, and type. The Scriptures must be read this way as well, if we are to get any kind of understanding of what it is trying to tell us. Lifting sentences or passages out of their defining context to support what it does not say is to violate the intent of the author - in this case - YHVH. Scripture must be read with an understanding of when it was written and what it was addressing for that time if we are to correctly apply it to our lives today. 

This is an ongoing issue for me. I will continue to elaborate as I am led and hopefully bring some light into a situation that causes frustration for not only women, but men as well. Will we be the unmoving bridge of doctrine and tenets of faith with limited function as proscribed by tradition OR will we be the River of Life that flows unimpeded according to the will of the Father as He established in His word?




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Grief

5/4/2014

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Grief. I have lost a number of people in my life. I lost my mother when I was 23 years old, although she is not one I grieved over. The reasons for that are really not important. Suffice it to say that though she was my biological mother and lived in our home, I was never connected to her. My grandmother (my mother’s mother) was who I was connected to and she is the one who taught me and loved me. When she died, I grieved and grieved. 

 I lost my little sister in 2010. She was only 56 years old. I still miss her and ache inside for the loss of her presence, her voice, her quirky humor, her irritating way of calling me out. Others have also gone on - aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, friends. There are holes in my life now. Gaping, empty places that must be filled. What am I supposed to do with the holes, the emptiness?

What does Abba say about this? He says there is a time to mourn. Since the first disobedience, grief is part and parcel of this moment we have been assigned in the time/space continuum. And there is a time to every purpose (Hebrew: desire, pleasure) under heaven. Ecclesiastes goes on to define these “desirable” things: dying, uprooting, killing, tearing down, weeping, mourning, giving up, throwing away, tearing apart, hating, war. God must be crazy, right? 

Science tell us that every seven years all the cells in our bodies die. But our bodies do not die. Dying and yet not dying. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. Each cell seems to pass on to the cell which replaces it the memory of the past so that the memory goes back beyond the life of the cell itself - YHVH’s plan. We would not have devised so remarkable a system of life. In fact, what we have devised (robotically) can only wear out and be replaced with new parts, nothing on the order of this amazing contradiction that life comes from dying. But our plan is not HIS plan, and who are we that we can know the mind of God? 

A young couple, dear souls, whom I know more as acquaintances than close friends, birthed a baby girl that lived only hours. She was born with physical issues that stopped her ability to survive this world. The deaths I have experienced were people who lived, made choices, got sick, ran out of time. But this. How do you grieve this? My father can identify better than I, because when I lost a sister, he lost a daughter, but she had lived life and had borne her own children and even though parents are not designed to outlive their children, there was something to show for her life. YHVH’s plan does not include parents outliving children. Throughout Scripture, the pattern is for the parents to teach the children and leave them a legacy of Truth and life. What do you say when the plan doesn’t work? How do you relate unless you have been through it?

 What is/was the purpose of little Hadassah’s life, or lack thereof? Some questions simply do not have answers and trite cliche comments only serve to increase the pain. We ask why and don’t get answers. Really, what explanation is there that would bring relief? I cannot imagine. Perhaps the answer is in the times of Ecclesiastes - times that we would not choose on our own, but are purposed by Yah to be recycled into new cells with bigger memory. 

I hope and pray that I do not ever have to experience this kind of pain. I hope and pray that those who do can teach me something about faith and living and dying and these “desirable” things. 


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    Author

    Napoleon Dynamite makes me laugh. The mountains are home.  I really hope there will be chocolate in eternity. I don’t have a lot of friends, but the ones I do have are spectacular! More than anything, I want to please my Creator. 

    How you live your life defines who you are. 

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