I get this. I remember when I first had to look at why YHVH’s Holy Spirit Power did not manifest through me. It is very hard to accept that you have been deceived and even harder to see that there is part of you that wants to hold onto the deception. Why? Because it feeds your flesh. We all want to be recognized, to be seen as non combative, to present a beautiful picture of ourselves to the rest of the “church”. But that is not what Abba wants. He wants absolute trust from us in Him and His instruction to build us into His intent, not ours. That means we obey whether we understand it or not, whether we like it or not.
I observe a belligerent spirit that rises up in people when confronted with the lies they believe. There is a manifestation of a “right” to rely on reason and logic as superior to YHVH. Comments such as - that’s not logical, and why would God do it that way? - are frequent. And this is not about sincerely asking the Father about something you would like clarified. No, this is outright dismissal that YHVH is right and I/we could possibly be wrong or deceived.