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Don't Thank Me, Thank God

9/29/2020

There is a person in my life that always responds to an expression of gratitude with a form of ‘don’t thank me, it was all God’. I have gone from being confused to frustrated to irritated by this. So, I am asking myself why?

I find in Scripture that we are to lift one another up, build each other up, encourage one another. I believe that expressing gratitude for a kindness or helpful act is a way of doing that. What happens when my thankfulness is dismissed by a comment like this or something similar?

Wheat and Chaff

1/19/2020

Insight and a picture from Abba to me this morning, 1.6.2020 - Sherri Mesta
The Word of YHVH is not a pounding stick, it is the power of YHVH for life and godliness. Being in the world and not of it is not an easy task. Where is the balance? I know some would see what I am being told to do as disobedience, but I know better. It is putting down my flesh, which has been used in the past as justification to be unloving and self righteous because I was hurt and they “deserved” it and Yeshua wouldn’t let them get by with it. But I am not Yeshua, am I?

It is so hard to stay on the path and not fall into the ditches. We must be able to share in love from our hearts and not break fellowship with the saints. Discernment is the key. Oh, what a ragamuffin lot we are! What absolute grace pours from Abba to be able to tolerate the messes we are. I weep in appreciation at receiving what I do not deserve, of being loved out of such a pure and holy compassion that I can only hope to attain. I am only now just beginning to grasp just the tiniest bit of it. Shame engulfs me for my past arrogance and attitudes. These are the things that only Abba’s Spirit can reveal and empower me to lay down. WHY is it so hard? Because it requires utter immolation of those things and that feels like losing me, my very existence. And it is true. I, me, my HAS to die if what Abba created is to come forth.

He showed me such a powerful picture of the wheat and the chaff. The chaff, the outer layer that protects the wheat grain from disease and pests is the crust formed around us that protects us in a state of immaturity and vulnerableness. It is the self protection and all the self stuff that literally keeps us alive until Abba can thresh (meaning below) the mature grain and remove the crust of self without destroying the seed that can be used for its original intended purpose. Threshing loosens the chaff allowing it to be sloughed off and exposes the seed, which can now be used as food, stored for the future, or replanted to grow more wheat. If the threshing does not occur, the chaff can retain moisture that will foster mold and mildew that will eventually destroy the seed.

Thresh = to harvest seeds from grain by beating or crushing it.

. . . that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. Eph 4:22-24

"Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. John12:24

Artificial Intelligence as Your God

10/18/2018

Recently, as I engage in ministry for healing, something interesting happens. There is a resistance to Truth that is incredibly strong. These people are not illiterate where The Word is concerned, however their use of it doesn’t change anything for them, which is why many look for help. Their resistance includes words that indicate spirits of control and irresponsibility. They say they want YHVH’s way and then justify their sin using Scripture or blaming others. YHVH makes it clear that it is our responsibility to know the Word, to ask Him what, when, where, why, and how, and act upon it. People say they do not want to be in sin and yet they hang onto blame and justification as if it were the only piece of wood floating in a vast sea. A gigantic struggle ensues to admit that they are or even could be wrong in their thinking.

I get this. I remember when I first had to look at why YHVH’s Holy Spirit Power did not manifest through me. It is very hard to accept that you have been deceived and even harder to see that there is part of you that wants to hold onto the deception. Why? Because it feeds your flesh. We all want to be recognized, to be seen as non combative, to present a beautiful picture of ourselves to the rest of the “church”. But that is not what Abba wants. He wants absolute trust from us in Him and His instruction to build us into His intent, not ours. That means we obey whether we understand it or not, whether we like it or not.

I observe a belligerent spirit that rises up in people when confronted with the lies they believe. There is a manifestation of a “right” to rely on reason and logic as superior to YHVH. Comments such as - that’s not logical, and why would God do it that way? - are frequent. And this is not about sincerely asking the Father about something you would like clarified. No, this is outright dismissal that YHVH is right and I/we could possibly be wrong or deceived.

Spiritual Covering: What does scripture actually say? by Sherri Mesta, 10/7/2018

10/18/2018

What exactly is spiritual covering and who or what does it? Let’s look at the beginning of the need for covering - both physical and spiritual.

Genesis 3:7a - At once they saw what they had done, and they realized they were naked, ie., uncovered.

naked: This is the Hebrew word עֵירֹם erom (Strongs 5903) . It means naked or nakedness and is used seven times in Scripture, including this verse, to designate both physical and spiritual nakedness or lack of spiritual cover. It implies also that they now know they are guilty before Elohim. It’s root is either ur, the Hebrew word for ‘to be exposed’ or ‘naked’, or ara, the Hebrew word that can mean nudity but also indicates exposure, lack of concealment, or lack of resources. Either way, we understand that there is more going on here than just lack of physical covering.

Genesis 3:7b - Then they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.

cover - Hebrew word חֲגוֹר hagor (Strongs 2290), means apron or loin cloth, girdle, belt. It is first used in this verse and makes it clear that this garment or clothing covered only a small portion of the body. It was a partial physical covering.

Genesis 3:21 - Then YHVH Elohim made garments out of animal skins for the man and his wife and clothed them.

garments - Hebrew word is כְּתֹנֶת kutonet (Strongs 3801). This is a tunic-like garment covering the whole body. Abba made the first ones for Adam and Chavah, of the skins of animals. The word is used subsequently to apply to the garments of priests, usually of linen fabric. It fully covers the body from shoulder to knees or ankles.

clothed - Hebrew word לָבַשׁ labesh (Strongs 3847). The word indicates a level of spiritual covering and is used other places to show the qualities of being clothed with majesty, strength, righteousness, salvation, etc. See Ps. 91; Is 51:9; Is 59:17

These are the definitions of the Hebrew words used in these texts. This is the first place they are used in the Scriptures and so define how we are to interpret their meanings when used in similar contexts.

SELF PITY

9/5/2018

Self pity. Wikipedia has an especially telling definition: "Though the primary focus of self-pity is on the self and one's own emotions that are within, it also has a strong interpersonal component. Being an interpersonal emotion is directing the emotional feeling or response toward others with the goal of attracting attention, empathy or help." Sounds a lot like manipulation, that insidious and subtle form of witchcraft!

Ugh! totally disgusting! And totally ingrained in too many of us. Me. Self pity is a sin, but how many of us acknowledge this particular sin? As awful and self indulgent as pride is, as ugly and divisive as it is, it is far easier to admit to pride than to self pity. Why is that?

My husband and I recently attended a seminar which had some teaching on self pity. My life is not unlike many out there. Younger years of neglect, rejection, abuse, etc. Repeated dashed hopes that turned sadness into a concrete and steel wall of self reliance, self protection, and a host of other self stuff. So how does one deal with self pity?

Like they say - the first step in dealing with a problem is to admit one exists. What keeps that from happening? In my case, there was a lifetime of built up lies I believed about myself that needed faced and exchanged for truth. It was not an easy task, but I had to begin somewhere. Layer after layer was stripped away and now the ugliness of needing recognition and attention and what my flesh did to make that “need” happen is out there is all its nauseating glory. What has been evident to others (to my shame and embarrassment) is now evident to me.

I am convinced Scripture teaches that mental and physical problems are rooted in the spiritual. Many years ago, the answer from YHVH regarding my plea as to the depression I was suffering, was unforgiveness. A while back, I suffered from muscle lock-up in my upper back and shoulders. This was a result of muscle memory attached to self protection (which had already been dealt with) that needed unlocked through prayer and massage. And now, I was fighting serious fatigue and lack of mental sharpness. My neck and shoulders were stiff and painful (stiff-necked?). Once again, I was led to work with my friend through prayer and massage to get to the root of what was causing my physical pain.

The physical and emotional pain was excruciating. Praying into this, revealed a long resident spirit of self-pity. Its words came insidiously: Why not pity yourself? No one else does. My spirit/heart knew the truth and recognized this as a lie, BUT everything in my FLESH wanted to run with it. WoW! It was so enticing! I had to exercise all my strength in YHVH’s Spirit to “just say no”. It’s almost as if there is a physiological benefit from self-pity similar to using drugs, an addictive component, something that wants the fix yet also knowing it is destroying you.

The idea that no one cares or how you perceive words spoken to or about you will feed and strengthen self-pity, increasing its power. Pride/arrogance is disgusting and hard to admit, BUT the very nature of self-pity makes it far more difficult to deal with than pride.

Beloved, if you have ever felt you didn’t deserve to be treated a certain way, or made excuses for your behavior based on past abuse, or used wrongs against you to garner sympathy or attention, you probably suffer from self-pity. If you want to be fully available to YHVH for His purpose(s) in your life, then self-pity must go. James 4 is very instructive here. We do not have because we do not ask and we don’t get when we do ask because we want what we want. Abba has given me a way to minister to people by helping them to ask properly. If you sense (and you know what I mean) that self-pity is a problem for you, then ask in sincerity for revelation and wisdom about what you need to know to take care of this debilitating spiritual disease. It will not be easy and growing pains are inevitable, but will always lead you to closer intimacy with your Father and Savior.

So Why Hanukkah? by Sherri Mesta 2017

12/8/2017

If you have celebrated this holiday for many years like me, you probably began by lighting the nine branched menorah and finding recipes for latkes, donuts, and other yummy deep fried foods, reading the story from Maccabees to the kiddos and just enjoying a week of partying. From there, the more serious aspects of the event that precipitated all this festivity is studied and meditated on during the eight days Hanukkah lasts. Spiritual things like miracles and assimilation and standing for your convictions and rededication.

We have historical accounts that support this celebration, a prophecy of it in the Tenach and references to it in the Apostolic Scriptures1, a good basis for continuing the tradition. But how can this time be a catalyst that effects change in me, in how I perceive the God I serve and the world He created? And since the holy days (moedim in Hebrew) that YHVH established on the forth day of creation don’t include this one, can it even serve such a purpose?

I want to focus on the so called miracle of the oil. The story goes that after the victory of the Maccabees over the vast army sent by Antiochus to destroy the people of YHVH, there was a cleansing of the temple that had been defiled and part of that cleansing required lighting the menorah and keeping it lit. The miracle was that only one day’s worth of consecrated oil was found, but that it continued to keep the menorah lighted for eight days.

Where in Scripture do we find other fires that burn but do not consume? Moses encounters a fire in a bush that does not consume the bush2. This is not the typical fire we know that can only burn when fuel is present. In similar fashion, the oil in the menorah of hanukkah was not consumed by the fire or the fire would have only lasted one day. What kind of fire is this?

Hebrews says YHVH is a consuming fire.3 But when we encounter this fire from Him, it is not physical fuel that is consumed. Not wood or oil or skin and bones. As I reflect on this past year and the fleshly attitudes the Father has asked me to submit to His Fire, I can only conclude that His Holy Fire, the Holy Spirit, will indeed burn off the dross and leave something purer than previously existed, IF I lay myself on the altar, IF I submit myself to the cleansing4. This is Spiritual work. Work that defies reason or logic. Work that goes against everything my mind knows and my eyes see. Work that says stay quiet in the face of accusation, forgive the abuser, trust the unseen.

There is another fire I read about in Scripture that does not go out and does not consume. It is the fire of YHVH’s wrath. Jeremiah 4:4, Matthew 3:12, Isaiah 66:24, and Mark 9:44 speak of this fire. How do I keep this a message of encouragement in the face of these scriptures? Truth is good but is also hard.

YHVH’s fire that does not consume (physical stuff) is intended for a good and righteous purpose. When we allow His Holy Fire to burn away disobedience, self righteousness, bitterness, deceit, we will not have to experience the fire of the second death. That fire was not intended for us. We are told, however that unless we succumb to the death of the flesh while we live on earth, that flesh will ultimately be subjected to an unquenchable fire.

Hanukkah. The Fire that does not consume. YHVH. I will celebrate because I have experienced the Fire of YHVH’s unquenchable love. Unphysical things have been burned out of me and left in their place are other unphysical things that are part of the Holy Spirit Fire living in me. I won’t say that the spiritual fire doesn’t hurt, because it does. Giving up my ideas and perceptions that insisted on living outside YHVH’s will feels like dying. And in a sense, it is. It is removing “the abomination that causes desolation” from YHVH’s temple that is me, and filing it with His Shekinah.

I pray you are in a place to celebrate in a new way this season and that the Glory of YHVH and His Mashiach shine through you to light the way for those who have yet to see!

Light is sown like seed for the righteous and gladness for the upright in heart. YHVH has made known His Yeshua. He has revealed His righteousness in the sight of the nations! Ps 97:11; 98:2

1 Maccabees 1,2; Josephus, Jewish Antiquities, Book 12 Chapter 5 through Book 13 Chapter 7: John 10:22, Matthew 24:15
2 Exodus, chapters 3 and 4
3 Hebrews 12:29
4 Proverbs 25:4; 1 Peter 1:7

Whose Control?

11/16/2017

Years ago, I wrote a series of poems brought on by what needed to happen in my soul and spirit. Death. (I believe they are posted in the archives.)

I submitted to what I knew would be a tedious and slow and painful process. I remember when the mountain that was me was blown apart into massive granite slabs big enough to bury six lanes of I-70 or crush a building. The plunger that detonated this blast was in the hand of YHVH, but He could not activate it without my permission.

Since then, the gigantic pieces have been systematically reduced. Each reduction carrying with it its own brand of agony as I cease to exist, the me that was the original mountain. A mountain of ideas, perceptions, and abuses that created the twisted shell of a counterfeit me that in no way resembled the intent of Abba for my life.

A little over a year ago a salt covenant was performed over me. I, like most I think, really had no idea what this was all about. Research. Study. The root of the word for salt means to grind into dust or powder, to pulverize. Oh, great. What more can be left? Eight months after the salt covenant I am instructed “to wear my salt”. I find a small locket online that can hold some of the leftover salt from the covenant and I order it. It is a constant reminder of the pulverizing that still needs to take place.

My identity. Who am I? Really? There was a time when I told Abba that if I lost anymore of myself, I would cease to exist. And He replied: So? So, how do you die and still live? He lays it out in His word and it seems rather simple. Seems. Dying to the flesh - the inclinations of mind, emotions and physical comfort that rule so totally and deceptively that often we are convinced it is God’s way. Dying to the flesh is not about death as much as it is about giving it to the God who owns it in the first place. And there is nothing simple or easy or painless about it.

What is still in me that needs the mountain life crushed out of it? I am told it is self control. Hmm. I thought I did a pretty good job. Nope. My response to emotional hurt is to stuff it, because that is self control, right? I am frustrated, angry, resentful. What do I resent? The fact that I am burying things that fester and make me angry. Abba, why do you use me to help people unbury things and then have me bury them? His response: I never told you to bury anything. Ahhh. That is MY idea of what self control looks like. Push down the feelings, swallow the hurt, refuse to confront. Make it look like I am in control, when everything is spinning out of control, and wait for the inevitable explosion.

Abba has shown me I am still leaning on my own understanding, my idea of what it is He wants, instead of asking Him. I am so adept at image making that I can create one from words on a page, a thought, an idea, and not even know I am doing it. The image maker needs to be pulverized. What does this look like and how is it done? This is where I am. Fighting for an identity that has always existed, but I do not know, the one established by my Creator. One that is unfamiliar and as such, terrifying to me. This journey has me emotionally spent. The obedience is exhausting - warring against the flesh that wants to rise up. Honestly, these pebbles that need to be crushed seem harder to let go of than the mountain of years ago that I asked to be blown up.

There is no turning back and going forward is the fight, the war, I am engaged in. . .

Self Control . . . Or Lack Thereof

10/28/2017

I have not posted in a long time. The subject today will deal with healing. And questions. Lots of questions. I have a relationship that causes me a great deal of pain, both emotional and physical, as the emotional translates to the physical. Abba says I am not at liberty to terminate the relationship. Frustration. So there is also a spiritual component to this whole thing, which is obvious.

Other people can bring out the worst in you. What does that say about you? For months, I have been seeking direction about this and of course, Abba is faithful. My problem is I have all the instruction from Him and know what peace, humility, self-control, meekness, love, compassion, mercy look like, but do I know how to really DO them? Am I merely projecting an image of what they look like as opposed to actually manifesting the reality?

I thought I knew. A little background. The Father has used me for years to help people unbury lies and hidden junk that gives the enemy power over us. The spiritual roots of sin must be dug out and replaced with Truth to effectively remove the power of the enemy in lives. So, moving on. Abba has revealed to me that He wants me to operate in self-control. He is using this particular relationship to bring to the surface buried or hidden things that He is not pleased with. Recently, this relationship brought on another (yes it is ongoing) disgusting show of my lack of self-control. I dissolved into tears of self accusation for not being what I should be. I realized (or did Ruach reveal?) that I was experiencing resentment. Why? Because I was burying what came at me in a futile attempt at what I thought was self-control and it was sitting under the surface, festering like a boil of planet X magnitude.

WoW!!!

Now, it is time to attack Abba. Why do you have me helping others to unbury things and have me bury things when You know what it does? A clear response: I never told you to bury anything.

WoW!!! again.

Now what? Clearly, my idea of self-control is completely whacked. What exactly is God-generated self-control? Or any of the fruits of the Spirit, DUH!, which is a bit obvious as to who should be in control. He wants me to examine meekness. OK. Next time.

Early Hanukkah Message

12/2/2016

Beloved,
I am busy putting together a lesson on Hanukkah. I was looking through some pieces I wrote over the years and came across this. I want to encourage you to stay strong and examine all things by YHVH's glorious word.

My heart is full. It hurts. It aches. It longs. It breaks. I used to try to imagine how my grandmother felt as the world of her past and the changes of her present collided. She was born in 1913. She saw the advent of automobiles replacing horses, the development of electronic media, photographs that developed before your eyes (polaroids), and praised the virtues of detergents for their superiority over soap. She lived through a time that constantly assaulted the senses and required rapid fire change or insanity. You could not rest for long or you would get left behind. She was a progressive, my grandmother. I envy her that.

I do not weather change well. I think I must be what is called an old soul. I had a serious childhood and am a serious adult. My heart is full because my spirit sees. The busyness, noise and chaos that accompanied the technological explosion of the last one hundred years became a distraction, an excuse to ignore or dismiss God. As a result, righteousness waned and wickedness increased, but it is nothing compared to the spiritual upheaval that we of this time and this world are now entering. Time is exchanged for money. Souls are sold/betrayed for fame, sex, a few measly dollars. Self is gratified, pampered and worshipped . Do unto others to get what you want is the rule. We live a lie and love it so (Jeremiah 30:30,31).

It is not fashionable, cool, hip, sweet - whatever the term is today - to consider others before yourself, but I want to challenge you. Return to the old ways, the proven ways, the Instruction of YHVH your God. Put Him to the test and see if He will not pour out on you overflowing blessing when you follow His ways (Malachi 3:7-10). Do not give up. No one is here by accident. Changing the world begins with changing one individual at a time. We cannot change others, but we can change ourselves. We can smile instead of frown. We can encourage instead of criticize. We can give instead of take. We can build up instead of tearing down. We can treat others as we would like to be treated.

There has always been a remnant, a small cadre that refuses to enter into the fashion of the day, be it political, social, or spiritual. Remember, the people who know their God and follow His ways shall be strong and do mighty works! (Daniel 11:32) Scripture bears witness, history bears witness, and YOU shall bear witness!!!

Chazak, chazak, v’nit chazek!! (Be strong, be strong, and be strengthened!!)
By His power and for HIs glory, Sherri

LOYALTIES

11/17/2016

Many today are in the throes of coming out of her. It is a difficult and often painful experience and sometimes the weight of the cost is just too great. As I prayed about a recent rough patch we hit as a family/group/fellowship, Abba brought to mind a lesson He had to teach me years ago. I hope and pray it helps and encourages some out there who are struggling in this area.

As servants of YHVH, our loyalty must be to Him. We are not to be bound to churches, groups, ideologies, or other people the same way we are to Him. This is one of the lies religious groups promote. It is something I have had to overcome; the idea that I was being disloyal or even disobedient to YHVH by leaving a particular group or fellowship.

When I attended school, 13 years of learning were housed under one roof. You came in at five years old as a kindergartener and graduated from the building as a senior 13 years later. It would have been ridiculous to keep a student in the kindergarten classroom for all 13 years. Each classroom was designed to advance the process of learning and they were all necessary groundwork for the end result. After high school, other institutions were available for more advancement and growth in specific fields.

This is not unlike “church” groups, except that the classrooms are separate churches and the building is the “church” at large. Is this beginning to make sense? At the beginning of my fellowship in the body of Messiah, I was led to believe - never stated explicitly, but always inferred - that my loyalty was first to denominational theology and second to the local body of which I was a member. Imagine the spiritual dissonance when I heard clearly from the Holy Spirit that I needed to leave a certain fellowship. Imagine the flack from leadership and fellow believers that were sure I was wacked.