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LOYALTIES

11/17/2016

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Many today are in the throes of coming out of her. It is a difficult and often painful experience and sometimes the weight of the cost is just too great. As I prayed about a recent rough patch we hit as a family/group/fellowship, Abba brought to mind a lesson He had to teach me years ago. I hope and pray it helps and encourages some out there who are struggling in this area. 

As servants of YHVH, our loyalty must be to Him. We are not to be bound to churches, groups, ideologies, or other people the same way we are to Him. This is one of the lies religious groups promote. It is something I have had to overcome; the idea that I was being disloyal or even disobedient to YHVH by leaving a particular group or fellowship. 


When I attended school, 13 years of learning were housed under one roof. You came in at five years old as a kindergartener and graduated from the building as a senior 13 years later. It would have been ridiculous to keep a student in the kindergarten classroom for all 13 years. Each classroom was designed to advance the process of learning and they were all necessary groundwork for the end result. After high school, other institutions were available for more advancement and growth in specific fields. 

This is not unlike “church” groups, except that the classrooms are separate churches and the building is the “church” at large. Is this beginning to make sense? At the beginning of my fellowship in the body of Messiah, I was led to believe - never stated explicitly, but always inferred - that my loyalty was first to denominational theology and second to the local body of which I was a member. Imagine the spiritual dissonance when I heard clearly from the Holy Spirit that I needed to leave a certain fellowship. Imagine the flack from leadership and fellow believers that were sure I was wacked.



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PERSPECTIVE

9/15/2014

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I spent some time this weekend with my eldest son. Both my boys are pretty amazing, but then I am their mom and absolutely biased! My marriage to their father did not make it. What does Scripture say? Hardness of heart . . . on both our parts. Working through my part has been irritating, frustrating, and absolutely humbling for many years. Would that a level of maturity could have been attained earlier, but sadly, no. 


The difficulties of our relationship affected the boys. This weekend, I sat and listened for the first time to some of those issues from my oldest son's perspective. He was in a place to share and I was in a place to receive. Interesting how something looks through another's eyes, emotions, and maturity. I am reminded of the tale of the blind men who are each led to a different part of an elephant and told to describe the part they are able to feel. Each perspective is correct as far as it goes - one says of the tail that an elephant is like a rope or cable, another of the leg that it is like a strong tree trunk, etc. 


Part of what the Father is doing with me right now is opening up perspectives. As I continue to 'see' my spiritual roots from YHVH's perspective as opposed to say, mine or tradition's or bad teaching, I pray that my eyes are being opened, my heart being broken, my ears hearing what HE has to say to me about me in order to become truly HIS. Am I able to let go of my limited perspective(s) and make more whole evaluations based on allowing different perspectives to be brought together to create the big picture? 


How I behave in any given situation has as many perspectives as people it affects. That is sobering! I have behaved badly. I have also behaved well. Sometimes the good behavior is seen as inappropriate because of perspective and vice versa. The only perspective that matters really, is YHVH's. Humbling myself before Him and others if necessary, by confessing my bad, apologizing and asking forgiveness is His perspective. May I be able to see it more and more, do it more and more, become mature in His ways and leave behind my limited perspective. 
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Separate But Equal

7/30/2014

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Really? 

Some may bristle with my comparisons today and that is ok. Bristling means to me that I am about to find out something about myself. Usually, it’s because I am holding onto a need to be right. Once in a great while, a very great while, it is because I am coming up against something that is not good. I pray that today’s post causes a bristling against something that is not good.

Separate but equal. The same but different. You can have input (as a woman), but I (as the man) have the final say. Hmm. I have heard these phrases used in church settings to cut the sharp edge of genderism, to placate a woman who is having problems being casted as second class. Problem is that these terms have been repeatedly used in other situations where people were considered second class. 

I will never forget the shockwave that went through me as I watched the movie, The Help, the first time.There is a scene where Hilly (a white affluent female in 1960’s Mississippi) is having an outside toilet installed for her black maid. She says something to the effect: “Now isn’t this nice? Your own bathroom. Separate but equal.” 

WoW! I thought. That’s me in church. This is where the bristling may occur. How can I compare women in church to the problem of black suppression? Easy. In my last post (read through it if you haven’t), you will see that church has for the last 2000 years portrayed women as subhuman or at best less than. This is exactly how black people were treated in this country for years. Do you think for a minute that being told they were equal when everything about them had to be separate, when everything about them was seen as inferior, when they were not considered capable of thinking for themselves, made them believe it? Of course not. Human beings are human beings created in the image of YHVH, regardless of their skin color, their eye shape, or their sex. 

Domination over another human being is not scriptural. It is part of what we have inherited from the church fathers where women are concerned. It may seem unrelated but when a people group is singled out as needing to be controlled or dominated in the sense that they cannot function without being told what to do or even worse, do not have the right to function without being told what to do (given permission/covering) by the powers that be, we will end up with an abused/hated group of people - all justified with Scripture! The Jews did it to the Samaritans, Hitler did it to the Jews, Muslims do it to the world, and church leaders do it to women - and also men who cannot further their agenda. 

Where in Scripture is injustice ever tolerated? Where in Scripture are we told 1/2 of humanity is to be accused, abused, and berated? “ALL have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” Um. I may be missing something here, but does that include men and women? Ahhh, but what about Paul? Yes, what about Paul? 

and the band plays on . . . .

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Scary Stuff

7/6/2014

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Today I am sharing a posting from a brother whose work I highly respect. It is critical that we discover the difference between looking like something and actually being something, between what we profess with our mouths and what we do with our lives, between what we think is in our heart and what YHVH finds there. Read and consider and do what you must.

Contingent Destiny

Posted on July 6, 2014, updated on July 6, 2014 by Skip Moen

I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give to each man according to his ways, according to the results of his deeds. Jeremiah 17:10 NASB

Results – Frankly, this verse scares me.  There are a few others that give me equal fright, but this one might be at the top of that list.  Jeremiah, speaking for God, tells me that God rewards according to results.  Oh, my!  I so want God to reward on the basis of His benevolence, His mercy and His compassion.  To be rewarded on the basis of my results is terrifying.  I think of all the times when I have not lived up to expectations, when my efforts or lack thereof did not produce the results God wanted.  In fact, I am quite sure my résumé of failures is much more extensive than my résumé of success.  If God rewards “according to the fruit of” my deeds, I am surely lost.  I will arrive in His presence empty-handed at best, but more likely with thorns and thistles rather than olive branches or grapes.

What’s worse is that God searches my heart. It really doesn’t matter if I show well on the outside. Does God care about the size of my bank account, the number of Bibles I have on the shelf, the record of my charitable gifts? If He searches my heart, He may find that those “successes” were motivated by pride or appeasement. Failures! The “fruit” isn’t just the observable result. Paul makes this abundantly clear. Heart and hand must go together if it’s going to be counted by the Lord. Perhaps that’s why this verse does not say, “I search the tax record or the theological statement or even the mind.” (By the way, the word “mind” in this verse is a Greek mistranslation of the Hebrew kilya’ which means “kidneys.” It’s the Hebrew way of saying “the innermost secret parts of a man.” It has nothing to do with cognitive functions.)

In Hebrew, the word translated “results” is peri. You might recall this word from the blessing of the wine during the Shabbat meal. It is the word for “fruit,” not “results.” The “fruit of his deeds” is the produce of his practice. Notice it is singular. Just like Paul’s comment on the fruit (singular) of the Spirit. It isn’t the deeds that are measured. It is what the deeds produce. We scramble around trying to do all the deeds perfectly, but that isn’t what God is counting. It is the fruit of those deeds that matters. In other words, it’s not the practice of Shabbat. It is the fruit that the practice produces. If you do everything properly during Shabbat but the fruit is dissension in the household, anxiety over responsibility, concern about social expectations or legalistic separation from others, then the fruit is a failure. The actual practice may be in accordance with the traditions of Shabbat, but the net result is ungodly.

If you attend services, say the prayers, study the Scriptures, follow Torah as best you can, but the produce from your labors drives others away from the Lord, causes family members to dread your theology, disrupts your compassion toward strangers or creates animosity, then the fruit is sour no matter how sweetly planted the vine.

Oh, and by the way, you are not the measure of the quality of your fruit. Only the fruit tasters, the ones who are supposed to benefit from your produce, are the rightful judges of your labor.

So I suppose I should take a confidential survey. I should be asking, “Have my efforts had a positive impact on you?” After everyone has answered I might feel a bit better but I will still need to ask the same question to God. Then I will know what I probably can already guess.

It’s still scary.

Find more @ http://skipmoen.com/

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TRUTH or CONSEQUENCES

6/27/2014

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I think I have mentioned this before. I am a live-in caregiver for my aunt, my dad’s sister. I love her dearly, but anyone who has done this job knows it comes with many challenges. A group of ladies meet here every friday for “bible study”. This is actually a misnomer as we do not actually study the bible. We get books and read them chapter by chapter and gather from week to week to discuss the material in the books. 
 

We are presently reading Philip Yancy’s  The Jesus You Never Knew. Throughout my time with my aunt, I have participated in these studies and have formed some interesting friendships with these lovely ladies. I appreciate that the ladies who come allow me to interject an ‘Hebraic’ understanding and yet I do not see that it has made much of an impact. 

Case in point is the chapter we went through today. Chapter 9 titled: Death: the final week, dealing with the week just preceding Yeshua’s death on the stake. Sometimes, it is such a struggle. I mean the writing is from a totally ‘christian’ perspective without so much as a shred of context that has anything to do with why or how the events unfolded as they did. 

There are speculation and opinion and statements made that cram the events into a “christian” paradigm which did not exist until the 4th century. Until that time followers of Yeshua were known as followers of The Way - a sect of Judaism that was recognized as Judaism. Now, there were leaders who didn’t like The Way, but never was there a question that those who believed that Yeshua was their Messiah were anything but Jewish in their practice and belief. Similarly today, we have Baptists and Methodists and Pentecostals, and although they have differences in the way they practice their belief, not one of these groups would state that the others were not christian. 

I commented that the waving of palm branches at the triumphal entry into Jerusalem was not, nor has it ever been a Pesach tradition. It was customarily done at the Feast of Tabernacles and is laid out in Lev. 23:40. The people waving branches just before Yeshua’s death were under the impression that the kingdom of YHVH was being ushered in and Yeshua was the Messiah/King/Anointed One who was to rule; the time when YHVH would once again “tabernacle” among His people, a thoroughly “Jewish” concept!

Uncomfortable silence. Furtive glances back and forth. Here she goes again. One of the women said she did not know this and thought it was interesting. One wondered why the author would come from any other perspective than a christian one since he was a christian writing to christians. I open my mouth again. Why would you not want to see these events in the light of their original context instead of trying to force it into a paradigm  established three to four hundred years after the fact?!?!


All the doors are shut, now. You can just hear the wheels turning - I like it the way I like it and am NOT going to listen to this. I am familiar with this place. I know that the Father uses me in a way that provides people with an opportunity to do the right thing. 

Years ago, I was led to put together a challenge to a large Denver area school district. It dealt with the psychological teaching methods being used which had been proven to be damaging to the adults subjected to them let alone foisting them onto unsuspecting children. In the car on my way to the hearing, I heard the Ruach say, “This isn’t going to change anything.” In my calm and gentle way - NOT - I pounded on the steering wheel and asked rather rudely, “Then what am I doing it for?” The answer I got was to forever change the issue I had with the way Abba has chosen to use me. He said, “Because they will not ever be able to say again - I didn’t know.” From this point forward, they are not being led down the proverbial primrose path without knowledge. They now know that what they are doing is causing damage and they will be held accountable for their participation, if not by the “law”, most certainly by YHVH. The end result of this encounter was a letter from the district stating that they understood the potential risks but were not going to change anything because what they were doing was not against the law. 

I will continue to allow the Father to speak through me, even though it means uncomfortable silences and eye rolling and even rejection. I remember how hard it was to come to terms with the fact that a lot of what I believed was a lie, but it never occurred to me to reject Truth to stay in the lie. This is what I struggle with: when the agenda of a school district is more important than the children’s lives, when your comfort level in what you currently believe is more important than the Truth. . .

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the new tower of babel in reverse

6/23/2014

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DECONSTRUCTION:

 A linguistic theory that applies to techniques for reading texts developed by Jacques Derrida, Paul de Man, and others; these techniques in turn are connected to a set of philosophical claims about language and meaning. The term has been used to describe what happens when texts are allowed to mean whatever a person wants them to mean. That is to say that a word or phrase can have as many definitions as the number of people reading it, thus making the word or phrase meaning-less. 

We have seen what culture does to language in our lifetime. Certain terms have morphed into something not remotely resembling their original intent. A few days ago, I visited a website and scrolled down to read some comments. Now, I do not do this very often as it tends to make me cranky, and I suppose this case turned out to be pretty normal, as far as the crankiness goes, because here I am blogging about it!

apostasy: wikipedia: from the Greek word apostasia ("ἀποστασία") meaning defection, departure, revolt or rebellion. It has been described as "a willful falling away from, or rebellion against. "Apostasy is a theological category describing those who have voluntarily and consciously abandoned their faith in the God of the covenant, who manifests himself most completely in Jesus Christ."[3] Another way of saying this is: falling away from the Truth. 

The posted comment stated: Apostasy is the mass rejection of christianity. Maybe I am nitpicking, but I think the things we say, how we say them, and the reasons we say them are critical. The power of life and death is in the tongue. Too many Scriptures dealing with this to list. The message is clear. Say what you mean and mean what you say. 

The definition of apostasy is not mass rejection of christianity. It is the falling away from the Truth. In order to fall away from the Truth, you have to have known it. "christianity" is a religion. You can be a “christian” and have a relationship with the One True Living God, but you can also be a "christian" and not have one. Yeshua was not a christian and neither was Peter, John or Paul. As Believers in Messiah, we are the body of Messiah. It is not, nor has it ever been the world/enemy against christians. It is about The Lie masquerading as Truth to deceive if it were possible, even the elect, the body of Messiah. 

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Getting it Right Day 6

2/19/2014

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This poem was written ten years after the initial poems in this exchange. A long time, or so it used to seem. I did a study once on time and tried to understand the unusual concept that YHVH does not operate within the time/space continuum. A day is as a thousand years to Him, a thousand years as a day - at any rate put that way so we get, to some small degree, the differences between Him and us.  As I understand it, YHVH doesn’t measure time, He measures progress, direction, obedience. We are the ones who make time limits - perhaps because we are so limited. 

 You will see that what began ten years before is still in progress. What has changed? I have moved from recognizing there is a problem, to identifying the problem, to applying truth to the problem, and now (2007) to a new paradigm of operating within my Father’s boundaries. 

Discovering my intended function and purpose as a woman has been a difficult and sometimes terrifying task. Breaking out of the small, confining, and destructive image created in the minds of males (and sadly at times, other females) is no small feat. I heard at every turn that I was rebelling against God by refusing to accept that I was less than, second class, deficient somehow, the cause and continuation of the world’s ills, all because I was woman. 

 I am ezer kenegdo! I am eshet chayil! As a very special new friend confirmed recently - I am awake - not perfect - but definitely awake! I am in process, moving forward, and not looking back. I am becoming what my Creator intended. And I am in excellent company! Praise YHVH for sisters and brothers who are willing to recognize there is a problem, to identify the problem, to apply TRUTH to the problem, and accept a new paradigm of operating within the Father’s boundaries.



BECOMING                     by Sherri Rogers, 2007

 Dissolving in my tears that flow unimpeded
            from somewhere so deep I’ve never been,
                    The pain is excruciating.
                                I cry out in anguish as the chasm deepens
 And the trickle becomes a raging torrent
             Gushing from places I didn’t know existed,
                      Carrying with it flux and debris long entrenched
                                 Like huge boulders mostly buried in mountain rivers.

 Massive ideas and perceptions, abuses, 
              That shaped my soul into what I thought was me.
 O, gentle eroding water-Word
               O, insistent, persistent Spirit-wind
                          How frustrating, how uncomfortable,
                                    how thorough, how welcome.

 And I wonder how much my impatience increases my pain.
             My inability to wait quietly
                        Accepting the process
                                  Allowing it to do the work, and yet . . .
 I have been told to seek, to push, to come up higher, to delve deeper.

 Teach me O, Breath of God, Spirit that is my life
             what is my work and what is Yours and
                       Who I am and what I am to become.

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Getting it Right Day 5

2/18/2014

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The poem I share today came out of the realization that most of us don't have a clue. Our relationships have no depth -even married people. Things, how we look, who we know, what we know, where we go, the make of our car, the neighborhood we live in, whether you have seen the latest movie, who won the super bowl, how many 'friends' you have on facebook - these dominate our conversation. I use the word conversation to define not only how we talk but in the biblical sense of how we live. 


Our Torah study group has been in the chapters of Genesis that give the account of Sodom and Gomorrah. A couple of weeks ago, the facilitator brought up the curious case of Ethan Couch, the 16 year old Texas boy who got ten years of probation for driving drunk and killing four people. Affluence and lack of proper parental guidance was the defense. Ezekiel 16:49 tells us that this was a key element that brought down the horrific judgement on Sodom and Gomorrah, Admah, and Zeboim. 


Mercy always precedes judgement. The root or base sins of pride and selfishness were at the core of the depravity that became a way of life for the cities of the plain. Clearly Lot made some bad choices, but his "conversation", his concern for the well-being of strangers was a thorn in the sides of the affluent and spoiled I-will-do-what-I-want citizens of this beautiful place. Was the visitation of the angels and Lot's response to the situation in essence one last opportunity for the people of Sodom to do the right thing? Think of Ninevah. 


There is a lot of discussion about the judge's ruling in the case mentioned above. Is it really about our opinion of what should have happened, or are we being shown something? Are we being granted mercy in the form of a judgement pronounced on a sixteen year old that we all need to study and learn from?


We are being challenged to take an inventory. We do not study for the sake of study. We study to LEARN - to put into practice what we have studied. How does my life need to change to reflect Torah, the will of my heavenly Father, instead of the world and my superficial worldly connections?


OUT OF TOUCH    by Sherri Rogers   (1998) 


The rooms of the houses are full to overflowing
but they are empty and cold
void of that which money cannot buy.

They sit in their rooms full of things,
accumulations of security
that do not love or touch or cry.

Basking in the glow of artificial light
and superficial friendships
that pass like ships in the night

Feeling manufactured love that doesn’t warm
and is slipped on and off
like a jacket for a storm.

The heart is so hard, the walls are so high
the bondage to things so difficult to be broken
The mind of reason must give way
to the Spirit of God through the word He has spoken

A heart of flesh for a heart of stone
transformed by the blood of the Lamb
The idols smashed, the alters torn down
cleansed and perfected by the Great I Am.





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Getting it Right Day 4

2/17/2014

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My precious mishpochah, 

I called a longtime friend this morning to talk over a 'situation'. She has a history of physical neglect and abuse that is on a par with sex trafficking and slavery. She has made a choice to become a victor instead of a victim. After a hiatus in our relationship, she is back with a vengeance! More healing, more refining, more of what Abba wants for her life. The poems I am sharing were written years ago during the foundational healing of my life. They focus on verbal abuse, something I have recently been subjected to - again - by someone who should know better. This is the 'situation'. 

I received some clarity and insight as I walked this morning and called to discuss it with her. Sometimes, I get the sense that because they are words and not violent physical attacks - either beatings or sexually - that they should not carry the same weight. Sticks and stones and all that. As we spoke and I poured out my heart, I was struck by her ability to empathize with my pain as if it were like hers. I guess it takes one to know one. And I am aware that verbal abuse leaves just as many and just as deep scars as physical abuse. I think I knew it in my head, but she helped bring it home to my heart. I will not let this pass again as if it doesn't matter because they are 'only' words and not fists.

YHVH tells us that the power of life and death is in the tongue. When do we get to justify our verbal cruelty and vicious word attacks? Because this is the 'situation', back when the poems were written and now. 

We also talked about the fact that I am a woman and these words came from a man, supposedly a believer. This is not the first time with this particular person. You can know Torah, but if you are not doing Torah, there is no life in what you say or do.

THROW AWAYS          by Sherri Rogers   (1997)
 
The paper is expensive.  It’s shiny and new.
 It hides inside what it’s supposed to.
It is only used once and then it’s discarded
Ripped and creased, no longer regarded
As useful or pretty or something to keep
Thrown away with the rest of the trash on the heap.
Like the lives of those who once were whole
And now sit defeated and all alone.
Crushed by the ones who used them to gain
Their selfish desires without thought of the pain.

Once beautiful faces with eyes full of life
Now lined with torment and racked with strife.
Left even by those who said they cared
Self appointed judges who wouldn’t dare
To lower themselves to take the hand
Of the abused and down trodden to help them stand
For fear they’ll become like the ones they touch
Or mocked and chided for caring too much.

 From YHVH’s love you cannot escape
In His Kingdom there are no throw aways.
"In as much as you have done it to the least of these
My child, you have done it unto Me."

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Getting it Right Day 3

2/16/2014

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Cognitive dissonance is a term used to explain the attempt to reconcile two opposing ideas or beliefs. It is what happens when you come face to face with reality that isn’t what you thought it was. For most people, living in a perception of what should be rather than what is, becomes a form of self preservation. Take an abused child, for instance. Often they will formulate fantasies about themselves or their abuser or both in order to deal with the horror of their reality. 

At some point, the truth must be faced, a choice must be made. You can accept the truth and let go of the lie/fantasy about yourself or your perpetrators or you will become the lie. This is the ultimate goal of Hegelian dialectic - to pit two opposites against each other and somehow bring them into harmony. For this to happen, each opposite must give up something to look more like the other. On one side you have lie, on the other you have truth and when they meet somewhere in the middle, you have compromise. 

Compromise takes off some of the edge, but it never brings peace. These poems came out of my struggle with cognitive dissonance. They lent voice to what I was being shown about who and what I really was versus what I had believed I was because of what I had been told or taught. 

WALLS   by Sherri Rogers   (1997)
 
Way down inside, protected inside, down in the innermost part
        Strange how it’s shattered and beaten and battered
                 This thing called the human heart.

 “I love you,” they say, 
         but their actions betray
                  the words their lips have spoken.

In the pain rushes, 
        it sears and it crushes
                  and the tender heart is broken.

The hardening starts to protect from the hurt
          and the walls are methodically erected.
                  The fortress is grand, it’s built to withstand
                                and it keeps the heart protected.

 But the toughness that’s gained is only feigned
           because the hurt remains
                     Locked up inside, sheltered inside, protected inside
                                 the walls made to keep out the pain.

 So it builds and grows and no one knows
            Because of the mask you wear
                       Until once again the pain takes its toll 
                                 And becomes too much to bear.

The only way out is to cry out
              To the One who created the heart
                         He’ll answer your call and tear down the walls
                                   And cause the healing to start.

Only He can mend the terrible rend
               caused by the destructive voices
                          Of those that can’t feel, can only steal
                                     your peace and trust by their choices.

They will continue, they do what they do.
                No doubt they’ll hurt you again
                            But the One who has mended forever has ended  
                                       the destruction caused by their sin.

 The heart of flesh that was turned to stone
                has been to flesh restored
                            And it still feels pain, but can also retain
                                         the love and squeeze of the Lord.





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    Napoleon Dynamite makes me laugh. The mountains are home.  I really hope there will be chocolate in eternity. I don’t have a lot of friends, but the ones I do have are spectacular! More than anything, I want to please my Creator. 

    How you live your life defines who you are. 

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    Hebron Heights Academy @  http://www.hebronheightsacademy.com/
    Today's Word @ http://skipmoen.com/
    Spirit and Truth @
    https://spiritintruth.wordpress.com/

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