Cognitive dissonance is a term used to explain the attempt to reconcile two opposing ideas or beliefs. It is what happens when you come face to face with reality that isn’t what you thought it was. For most people, living in a perception of what should be rather than what is, becomes a form of self preservation. Take an abused child, for instance. Often they will formulate fantasies about themselves or their abuser or both in order to deal with the horror of their reality.
At some point, the truth must be faced, a choice must be made. You can accept the truth and let go of the lie/fantasy about yourself or your perpetrators or you will become the lie. This is the ultimate goal of Hegelian dialectic - to pit two opposites against each other and somehow bring them into harmony. For this to happen, each opposite must give up something to look more like the other. On one side you have lie, on the other you have truth and when they meet somewhere in the middle, you have compromise.
Compromise takes off some of the edge, but it never brings peace. These poems came out of my struggle with cognitive dissonance. They lent voice to what I was being shown about who and what I really was versus what I had believed I was because of what I had been told or taught.
WALLS by Sherri Rogers (1997)
Way down inside, protected inside, down in the innermost part
Strange how it’s shattered and beaten and battered
This thing called the human heart.
“I love you,” they say,
but their actions betray
the words their lips have spoken.
In the pain rushes,
it sears and it crushes
and the tender heart is broken.
The hardening starts to protect from the hurt
and the walls are methodically erected.
The fortress is grand, it’s built to withstand
and it keeps the heart protected.
But the toughness that’s gained is only feigned
because the hurt remains
Locked up inside, sheltered inside, protected inside
the walls made to keep out the pain.
So it builds and grows and no one knows
Because of the mask you wear
Until once again the pain takes its toll
And becomes too much to bear.
The only way out is to cry out
To the One who created the heart
He’ll answer your call and tear down the walls
And cause the healing to start.
Only He can mend the terrible rend
caused by the destructive voices
Of those that can’t feel, can only steal
your peace and trust by their choices.
They will continue, they do what they do.
No doubt they’ll hurt you again
But the One who has mended forever has ended
the destruction caused by their sin.
The heart of flesh that was turned to stone
has been to flesh restored
And it still feels pain, but can also retain
the love and squeeze of the Lord.
At some point, the truth must be faced, a choice must be made. You can accept the truth and let go of the lie/fantasy about yourself or your perpetrators or you will become the lie. This is the ultimate goal of Hegelian dialectic - to pit two opposites against each other and somehow bring them into harmony. For this to happen, each opposite must give up something to look more like the other. On one side you have lie, on the other you have truth and when they meet somewhere in the middle, you have compromise.
Compromise takes off some of the edge, but it never brings peace. These poems came out of my struggle with cognitive dissonance. They lent voice to what I was being shown about who and what I really was versus what I had believed I was because of what I had been told or taught.
WALLS by Sherri Rogers (1997)
Way down inside, protected inside, down in the innermost part
Strange how it’s shattered and beaten and battered
This thing called the human heart.
“I love you,” they say,
but their actions betray
the words their lips have spoken.
In the pain rushes,
it sears and it crushes
and the tender heart is broken.
The hardening starts to protect from the hurt
and the walls are methodically erected.
The fortress is grand, it’s built to withstand
and it keeps the heart protected.
But the toughness that’s gained is only feigned
because the hurt remains
Locked up inside, sheltered inside, protected inside
the walls made to keep out the pain.
So it builds and grows and no one knows
Because of the mask you wear
Until once again the pain takes its toll
And becomes too much to bear.
The only way out is to cry out
To the One who created the heart
He’ll answer your call and tear down the walls
And cause the healing to start.
Only He can mend the terrible rend
caused by the destructive voices
Of those that can’t feel, can only steal
your peace and trust by their choices.
They will continue, they do what they do.
No doubt they’ll hurt you again
But the One who has mended forever has ended
the destruction caused by their sin.
The heart of flesh that was turned to stone
has been to flesh restored
And it still feels pain, but can also retain
the love and squeeze of the Lord.
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