Other people can bring out the worst in you. What does that say about you? For months, I have been seeking direction about this and of course, Abba is faithful. My problem is I have all the instruction from Him and know what peace, humility, self-control, meekness, love, compassion, mercy look like, but do I know how to really DO them? Am I merely projecting an image of what they look like as opposed to actually manifesting the reality?
I thought I knew. A little background. The Father has used me for years to help people unbury lies and hidden junk that gives the enemy power over us. The spiritual roots of sin must be dug out and replaced with Truth to effectively remove the power of the enemy in lives. So, moving on. Abba has revealed to me that He wants me to operate in self-control. He is using this particular relationship to bring to the surface buried or hidden things that He is not pleased with. Recently, this relationship brought on another (yes it is ongoing) disgusting show of my lack of self-control. I dissolved into tears of self accusation for not being what I should be. I realized (or did Ruach reveal?) that I was experiencing resentment. Why? Because I was burying what came at me in a futile attempt at what I thought was self-control and it was sitting under the surface, festering like a boil of planet X magnitude.
Now, it is time to attack Abba. Why do you have me helping others to unbury things and have me bury things when You know what it does? A clear response: I never told you to bury anything.
Now what? Clearly, my idea of self-control is completely whacked. What exactly is God-generated self-control? Or any of the fruits of the Spirit, DUH!, which is a bit obvious as to who should be in control. He wants me to examine meekness. OK. Next time.